Santana Lopez (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
burgercraving) wrote2011-05-03 11:30 pm
burgercraving) wrote2011-05-03 11:30 pm
(no subject)
This definitely is a four-thousand word essay on Santana's sexuality that gets redundant at times, but whatever.
Okay, a Santana and her sexuality essay. I’m not probably not addressing camp at all in this, but I might summarize what I’m doing at the end and how it relates to canon, because I am relating it well in my head, but I’m also RPing her a lot while canon is on-going. However, I want to add that canon has been very good to me and hasn’t contradicted me at all, so I’ve been really lucky. Really, really lucky.
Santana and “The Only Straight I am is Straight Up Bitch”
Now, Santana as she is in canon (post-“Born This Way”) and in camp, because it comes post-“Original Song” and I’m assuming that it’s there by time she gets to “A Night of Neglect” identifies as a lesbian. She says it twice directly in “Born This Way.” In “Sexy,” she claims to not want a label—this is not, as far as I can tell, an indication of her need to drop labels regarding sexuality and address its matter of fluidity. Ideally, yes, that would be awesome, and I would buy it, but I think in the context of the scene, the episode, and Glee as a whole, Santana wasn’t trying to think outside the box. She simply couldn’t deal with the label that tends to come with one girl loving another girl, and she hates Rachel (or “hates” Rachel; I am inclined to believe that it’s with quotation marks because I am a shipper of ladies, and that’s how I roll).
As Santana addresses her sexuality, she can’t deal with it due to the publicity of it. Being gay, for her, leads to her identifying with Kurt’s situation. Kurt was both (briefly) a football player and a cheerleader, and he still got crap for his sexuality. I think, as indicated later on, she likes Kurt a whole lot, and wants to look out for him—her scene with him and Blaine in “A Night of Neglect” seems to point toward this, as it shows that she cares enough about him to step in, even when he’s no longer a part of New Directions. There is the selfish aspect of that, as Karofsky is a douche who slushied her, but I’m preferring to read it deeper. In “Sexy,” she parallels her story with Kurt’s, and explains that it’s why she doesn’t want to come out. Earlier—in “Furt”—she wants to join in and be included in the scene where they’re all helping Kurt out when it comes to his bullying. This wasn’t just because she was left out, because she doesn’t need to be selfless and involve herself. I’d say she actually likes Kurt, even if she makes fun of him from time to time.
(Let’s be honest: Santana makes fun of everyone. It’s how she protects herself.)
All that said, what we know about Santana is that she’s an insecure girl full of vitriol who’s a control freak who doesn’t want to be left alone, wants to feel like she’s a part of things, and hates being alone, so she thrives on the idea of misery loves company. If she goes through the sexuality thing alone, she’s definitely not having any company; she can’t deal with it. Brittany is not enough to put herself on the line. She thinks it is, but she realizes that the only way she can have Brittany is if she ends up outing herself, and that’s the last thing she wants. So, Narnia it is, right along with Karofsky, but at least she realizes she’s a lesbian, so she’s half-way there.
Though I guess I should tangent here. Identification is a huge thing in the gay community. The fact of the matter is, there is the whole sexuality is fluid argument and that there shouldn’t be labels, and forcing labels is bad! I am on board with that, but Santana identified, and that’s a huge deal. She realized that she likes girls, only becomes emotionally attached to girls, and doesn’t feel that way with boys. She decided to research and look into identifying with being a lesbian, so it’s her choice; that doesn’t deny her fluidity, but I think it does tie back to her as a whole. If she didn’t identify, then it’d be cool; other people telling her she’s gay would be a problem, but Santana herself is identifying that way, and that’s what she’s realized/decided she is. If she decided to defy labels and screw plants, then all power to her. So a lot of this has to do with identification that developed, I believe, with research following “Sexy” until she has her talk with Dave in “Born This Way.”
I believe the research itself spawns from looking into the gay community and trying to find icons and symbols that identify herself with it, and she doesn’t … like, she tells Brittany she can’t go to an Indigo Girls concert, among a few other things, and it’s an indication of her confusion and lack of knowledge with it. She defines lesbianism and gayness as these things (gay girl bands, for example) rather than how she feels. Holly tries to put it on a broader spectrum—it doesn’t matter what you identify with, as long as you love—but Santana ultimately realizes in the end what she wants to identify as. I want to add that although she realizes she’s in love with Brittany, I think her identification came when she realized she liked and found other girls attractive, as well. I don’t think Santana would readily identify without having more than one person to put her into that position. Having it be just Brittany would give someone like Santana, who’s seeking a way out … a literal open door to run through.
She identifies as a lesbian, but refuses to come out of the closet due to the image issues that play into it. She wants Brittany and is in love with her, and continues to manipulate Brittany because she wants Brittany to be with her without having to come out. That way, she continues to get what she wants—her friend who she’s in love with—and she doesn’t need to tell anyone that she’s gay in the process. It’s a win-win situation for her.
In a lot of ways, Santana is trying to control a situation that’s out of control for her. There is no denying the fact that she’s a control freak. She controls, manipulates, lies, and does everything in her power to make things go the way she wants—even ensuring that she makes Finn and Quinn contract mono—so she can prove she’s right and the one in charge. The thing is, her sexuality is something that is a clearly defined point of insecurity for her. There is no denying that Santana is someone who is sensitive and while she can dish it, she can’t take it; any time someone tries to one-up her, she obsesses with getting them back for it. She gives Finn mono and she eventually blackmails Karofsky. The moment she’s beat down, she stands up and finds a way to beat the other person back. She hates being trampled underfoot. This is also why she quit the Cheerios.
So, again, on the note of her sexuality: it’s something she identifies as something that will make others treat her differently. She wants to be powerful and in control, which I’ll go into further as it ties into S1 and everything to do with Puck, even in S2, she doesn’t want to feel alienated from the people around her, and she’s obsessed with her image. And then she has, as her evidence for how people treat sexuality: people treating Kurt like trash, people calling him a “fag,” and oh yeah, the part where he received a death threat. This is basically the makings for her being unsettled by it.
It makes sense that she wouldn’t want to come out. McKinley might be used to Kurt, but he’s still a spectacle. As shown in “Original Song,” the judges basically picked McKinley, or I thought it was a factor in some of their decision, because they were … less gay. It’s the Midwest, and it’s not always widely accepted.
The Boy is Mine … etc. and How Glee Club is Important
Right, so Glee isn’t known for the most consistent writing, so this is where I explain stuff the show won’t ever explain and how it fits into my “Santana identifies as a lesbian and here is why.” Obviously, she identifies as a lesbian, but! It’s not always immediately obvious. Now, I will say I watched Glee in a bit of an untraditional order—I saw the pilot, and then “Theatricality,” and then “Britney/Brittany” and then “Duets.” I saw parts of the Christmas episode that I can’t remember the name of because who cares and then “Sexy.” So, my viewing of Glee is … skewed. I saw a lot of the defining Brittana moments and then went back to the very beginning and sped through the entirety of season one in twenty-four hours, and as a result, I was effectively watching for Santana and looking at everything under a certain scope. I wanted proof that she was gay, and I found it! … And not just in the handholding and “if sex was dating, we’d be dating” scene.
My headcanon for Santana is that since she can’t control things through the methods that Quinn employs—being pretty, smart, pure, and having people fall all over that—she asserts herself as a badass. I do believe there is something racially charged in this, because she does mention her lineage on a number of occasions (mostly in S2, but I digress). I think she uses it to make herself seem like more of a badass than she is, because I think she needs people to be afraid of her. In a lot of ways, Santana is incredibly lonely, as I’ve said, and hates feeling out of control. By putting forth fear, she gets people to follow her, deal with her, and so forth. Thus, Santana identifies with the stereotype of “badass Latina,” while she doesn’t necessarily fit it. I’ve seen people make arguments that it’s racist, and it … pretty much is, but Santana herself consciously utilizes it, or god, I really hope that’s what they’re trying to make her do. It sucks that she can, yeah, but there you go.
But we know that Santana’s dad is a doctor, that she has some kind of thing for Che Guevara, and that she will look into someone’s credit scores. These are all things that put her in a position of potentially being … both intelligent and somewhat loftier than otherwise may seem (but, I note, still kind of a dumb teenager; she may know who Samson is but she doesn’t know who James Earl Jones is … oh, Santana). She is clever, as shown by her various schemes, and I believe she’d be a lot better off if she didn’t employ so much of her effort in her schemes.
Still, it’s an image: a stereotype, in some ways, and others, she just wants to seem like a badass. A badass girl who has sex with whoever she wants, but with Puck, she does it so she can be in control. I think Puck is a huge image and symbol for her. Her possessiveness is, in my opinion, directly linked to what amount of status he gives her. She calls him a whiner, and when he starts regaining status again, she wants him back; there is no way around that. I think Puck is a consistent issue for her because she sees him as her counterpart, but I think it’s significant to note that their only scenes with one another involve her trying to get him to buy her a necklace, that dinner where she fawns all over him for lying about being a badass in juvie, and the part where she calls him a whiner. None of these are huge indications of a lot of emotional investment. On the contrary, what we see is her using him, controlling him, and basically liking him for what image he represents, rather than what or who he actually is.
Puck is a huge part of Santana because Santana makes him that. But in the end, it wasn’t difficult for her to shift focuses, and neither Puck nor Santana have really looked back. And honestly, they’re teenagers; teenagers fool themselves into believing a lot of things.
Both Puck and Finn are recurring characters for Santana. Puck continues into S2 and she’s enraged when he sings a song for Lauren, and then she moves from her Puck thing to screwing with Finn, Quinn, and Sam, being with Sam but not liking it, and eventually realizing that her thing with Brittany, which has presumably been going on behind the scenes all along, is how she actually feels.
The Finn thing is easier to explain, and actually where my journal name comes from. We know she uses Finn to become cheerleading captain, because that is a placement of status. It doesn’t go anywhere, but it’s a card to play for later (and boy, does she play it). When she has sex with Finn, the aftermath is that she’s bored, detached, and she seems to say that sex doesn’t really give her anything either—and wonders how he feels only after she expresses that she wants a burger. She emits more emotion in wanting the burger than the act she just had with him, or even feeling like she cares about him, and he’s merely an afterthought. It isn’t that she dislikes Finn here; I’d say this is actually a scene where Santana shows softness. It’s just … apathy, detachment, it means nothing to her because sex, with boys (which I am tacking on but I’m assuming in the context of my argument), means nothing to her.
We know from both S1 and S2 that Santana doesn’t identify Finn as hot, but we do know that when her status is threatened in S2—she loses captain to Quinn again and due to her boob job, which she got because she feels insecure about herself—she decides to play that card. By then, it is her belief that Finn needs it just as bad. In “Furt,” we see her trying to use it and at the wedding multiple times, the camera shows her face: she’s sad, lonely, walking that lonely teenage road of life, and she doesn’t have anything going for her. Life pretty much sucks, and it’s during this time that Brittany and Artie are … well, you know how it goes. Things aren’t going her way.
Everything from finally playing that card on seems to prove Santana’s need to assert control because she’s quickly losing it, and it’s lost by time “Silly Love Songs” comes along. She doesn’t have any spot on the squad, she’s with New Directions only, and while it’s what makes her happiest, she’s still angry, full of vitriol, and so forth.
Honestly, to me, it ties in together fairly well, if chosen to be taken that way. In a lot of ways, Santana has been forced to slowly identify herself and address her flaws, shortcomings, issues, and become self-aware, and she’s still kind of dumb when it comes to herself. She manipulates and lies to get things to go her way, but it’s been that way all along. Beginning of season one Santana isn’t the same person she is now, because Santana slowly came to love the Glee Club and what it meant to her—freedom from labels, status, and trying to have any kind of power—and eventually defected to it in the end. Her evolution comes directly in relation to New Directions, and honestly, everyone in the Club, even Rachel Hobbit Berry, is incredibly important to her. (Though Rachel is the one who accepted her “I love Glee Club” statement in “Sectionals” when no one else would … just a thought.)
In Glee Club, she finds a release from status, but not entirely. Santana hasn’t gone all the way with that yet, but … I believe she’s getting there. Her shift from needing to be the badass girl to someone who is dealing with her sexuality is one that gradually grows, as she comes to face herself in the mirror. I think it’s important that she does that.
Physicality
Briefly, I think despite her identification, Santana has only been sexually active with a large handful of guys … and Brittany. As well as her thoughts on shrubbery and a mannequin. (I think these were more things she identified as being able to … use to get off. Because, you know, it happens.) I don’t think she’s explored her sexuality as it comes to dudes, but she is shown to be sexually knowledgeable when it comes to Brittany. They have explored the acts, so there’s that. Her interest in guys was … I think, largely, due to being with them giving her some validation (which I’m not covering so much in this essay, but I insist, again, that Santana’s self-esteem is incredibly low and she’s incredibly lonely, whether she purposely alienates herself from others or not). The sexual acts were probably good, or even great, but largely empty; her scenes with Sam indicate as much, because she seems to put it forth in a very … this is how it’ll go, it’ll be a benefit for you, as it’ll be a benefit for me.
I don’t have much else to say here except that I think Santana is pretty sexually competent and I get the feeling that she actually looks into ways to make it more enjoyable for herself. She’s experienced, though probably still overdoing it a bit.
Brittany
I didn’t write this essay as directly relating to Brittany because I think many of the clues regarding Santana’s sexuality are actually independent of Brittany, and it’s just that she’s in love with Brittany that makes her further address her sexuality, but Brittany isn’t the reason she quits the squad, becomes closer to the Club, identifies with Kurt, or anything like that. That isn’t to say that Brittany isn’t important, but her sexuality storyline includes Brittany and Brittany is a large part of it, but as shown in “Rumours,” she could’ve easily ended up with Brittany, but she couldn’t deal with the last part of her image being lost.
Santana is in love with Brittany. I don’t know if she totally respects her, but I don’t know if Santana is as self-aware about the relationship. She is possessive as all hell over Brittany (though she is in general with her “romantic” entanglements). Brittany says that Artie is the only one in the school who hasn’t called her stupid, and … I believe that’s true. He treats her like she’s stupid, simple, and in a number of different misogynistic ways, and uses her to validate him, but he never called her stupid. I’m not sure if Santana has outright, but yeah. Santana does love her, though, and is more honest with her than she is with anyone else. She’s capable of empathizing, but it’s hard for her to … open up as she’s doing it. (Which isn’t to say she doesn’t. I think she’s getting there.)
But the thing is, Brittany is pushing her, and doing it in that annoying Glee way of … forcing her out in the most uncomfortable way possible. Which sucks for Santana, but it’s also good that Brittany is doing it. Sure, Brittany could do it differently, but this is Brittany; she’s being as intelligent as she’s capable of. She’s understanding and realizing that part of why Santana is afraid to do it is because she is afraid of dealing with that part of herself, afraid of putting it on the line and owning up to it, because of how much it could mean to her. Santana doesn’t really like herself, and part of that, now, is the realization that she’s gay. That’s really not something she’s capable of dealing with outwardly, even if she’s privately handling it. She can identify to herself, but it’s a whole different ballgame when it involves other people. And Brittany tried in “Rumours” to make her feel like she’s not alone, but she still couldn’t handle it.
I think her attachment to Brittany is partly a safe thing for her. There isn’t anyone else, Brittany has been (I assume) her best friend all her life, and she’s the person she feels most intimate with. She’s the person she has the most in stake in to keep close. She does love Brittany and usually, Brittany just accepts her, but now Brittany realizes how much self-sabotage Santana is doing, and is trying to help. And some ways, she’s doing a good job; in other ways, she isn’t.
I go back and forth on the pairing of Brittana. I do want Santana to get what she wants because I’m biased toward her, but I’m not sure Brittany is good for her. Or that she’s good for Brittany. I think Brittany is sometimes really childish to uncomfortable degrees, while Santana is actually fairly intelligent and … while not always mature, far more mature in her handling of herself than Brittany will ever be.
So, I don’t know. I’m undecided.
AND FINALLY, HEADCANON AND CAMP
- FOR THE SAKE OF MY SANITY, I am assuming that none of her romantic involvements with guys involved any genuine feelings or affection. This is safe in both Finn and Sam, but largely a matter of interpretation with Puck. (Though I genuinely would like proof outside of possessiveness and control with Puck. Possessiveness/jealousy isn’t actual love and adoration like he’s more than something cute because he’s a badass. We know how Santana is with someone she loves because of how she is with Brittany.)
- She does find other girls attractive because she identifies as a lesbian. If it was just Brittany, it would be Brittany as her exception; I fully believe Santana would do that, and there are several large hints to her looking into it and trying to define what it means to be gay.
- In camp, she is both uneasy about being gay but also … god, really relieved to be in a place where people are like “why do you hate yourself for being gay because it’s pretty kosher here.” She’s somewhat more open about it, but has mostly been forced to address it while canon hasn’t put her into that position at all. We do know she freaks the fuck out when it’s handled in canon, in front of everyone, and everyone is left to side-eye at it, and if I’m taking Artie’s reaction as an indication, a sign that no one really is buying her continued closeted act. In camp, it’s … moot, and she needs control, and she’s feeling her way out and realizing that her way of control in camp is different than it is in canon. (Meaning, she still has none.)
- Camp is mostly uncomfortable due to the lack of societal structures and status that it supplies. She’s a control freak and needs to feel comfortable and okay with herself, and she can create things by which she feels that way at McKinley. Not so much in camp. This is a good thing because she … is actually forced past her point of gradual departure that I pointed out above and into just being herself. Santana just hasn’t figured that out yet.
And finally, listen to this because it's pretty.
... Questions ... and comments are welcome.
Okay, a Santana and her sexuality essay. I’m not probably not addressing camp at all in this, but I might summarize what I’m doing at the end and how it relates to canon, because I am relating it well in my head, but I’m also RPing her a lot while canon is on-going. However, I want to add that canon has been very good to me and hasn’t contradicted me at all, so I’ve been really lucky. Really, really lucky.
Santana and “The Only Straight I am is Straight Up Bitch”
Now, Santana as she is in canon (post-“Born This Way”) and in camp, because it comes post-“Original Song” and I’m assuming that it’s there by time she gets to “A Night of Neglect” identifies as a lesbian. She says it twice directly in “Born This Way.” In “Sexy,” she claims to not want a label—this is not, as far as I can tell, an indication of her need to drop labels regarding sexuality and address its matter of fluidity. Ideally, yes, that would be awesome, and I would buy it, but I think in the context of the scene, the episode, and Glee as a whole, Santana wasn’t trying to think outside the box. She simply couldn’t deal with the label that tends to come with one girl loving another girl, and she hates Rachel (or “hates” Rachel; I am inclined to believe that it’s with quotation marks because I am a shipper of ladies, and that’s how I roll).
As Santana addresses her sexuality, she can’t deal with it due to the publicity of it. Being gay, for her, leads to her identifying with Kurt’s situation. Kurt was both (briefly) a football player and a cheerleader, and he still got crap for his sexuality. I think, as indicated later on, she likes Kurt a whole lot, and wants to look out for him—her scene with him and Blaine in “A Night of Neglect” seems to point toward this, as it shows that she cares enough about him to step in, even when he’s no longer a part of New Directions. There is the selfish aspect of that, as Karofsky is a douche who slushied her, but I’m preferring to read it deeper. In “Sexy,” she parallels her story with Kurt’s, and explains that it’s why she doesn’t want to come out. Earlier—in “Furt”—she wants to join in and be included in the scene where they’re all helping Kurt out when it comes to his bullying. This wasn’t just because she was left out, because she doesn’t need to be selfless and involve herself. I’d say she actually likes Kurt, even if she makes fun of him from time to time.
(Let’s be honest: Santana makes fun of everyone. It’s how she protects herself.)
All that said, what we know about Santana is that she’s an insecure girl full of vitriol who’s a control freak who doesn’t want to be left alone, wants to feel like she’s a part of things, and hates being alone, so she thrives on the idea of misery loves company. If she goes through the sexuality thing alone, she’s definitely not having any company; she can’t deal with it. Brittany is not enough to put herself on the line. She thinks it is, but she realizes that the only way she can have Brittany is if she ends up outing herself, and that’s the last thing she wants. So, Narnia it is, right along with Karofsky, but at least she realizes she’s a lesbian, so she’s half-way there.
Though I guess I should tangent here. Identification is a huge thing in the gay community. The fact of the matter is, there is the whole sexuality is fluid argument and that there shouldn’t be labels, and forcing labels is bad! I am on board with that, but Santana identified, and that’s a huge deal. She realized that she likes girls, only becomes emotionally attached to girls, and doesn’t feel that way with boys. She decided to research and look into identifying with being a lesbian, so it’s her choice; that doesn’t deny her fluidity, but I think it does tie back to her as a whole. If she didn’t identify, then it’d be cool; other people telling her she’s gay would be a problem, but Santana herself is identifying that way, and that’s what she’s realized/decided she is. If she decided to defy labels and screw plants, then all power to her. So a lot of this has to do with identification that developed, I believe, with research following “Sexy” until she has her talk with Dave in “Born This Way.”
I believe the research itself spawns from looking into the gay community and trying to find icons and symbols that identify herself with it, and she doesn’t … like, she tells Brittany she can’t go to an Indigo Girls concert, among a few other things, and it’s an indication of her confusion and lack of knowledge with it. She defines lesbianism and gayness as these things (gay girl bands, for example) rather than how she feels. Holly tries to put it on a broader spectrum—it doesn’t matter what you identify with, as long as you love—but Santana ultimately realizes in the end what she wants to identify as. I want to add that although she realizes she’s in love with Brittany, I think her identification came when she realized she liked and found other girls attractive, as well. I don’t think Santana would readily identify without having more than one person to put her into that position. Having it be just Brittany would give someone like Santana, who’s seeking a way out … a literal open door to run through.
She identifies as a lesbian, but refuses to come out of the closet due to the image issues that play into it. She wants Brittany and is in love with her, and continues to manipulate Brittany because she wants Brittany to be with her without having to come out. That way, she continues to get what she wants—her friend who she’s in love with—and she doesn’t need to tell anyone that she’s gay in the process. It’s a win-win situation for her.
In a lot of ways, Santana is trying to control a situation that’s out of control for her. There is no denying the fact that she’s a control freak. She controls, manipulates, lies, and does everything in her power to make things go the way she wants—even ensuring that she makes Finn and Quinn contract mono—so she can prove she’s right and the one in charge. The thing is, her sexuality is something that is a clearly defined point of insecurity for her. There is no denying that Santana is someone who is sensitive and while she can dish it, she can’t take it; any time someone tries to one-up her, she obsesses with getting them back for it. She gives Finn mono and she eventually blackmails Karofsky. The moment she’s beat down, she stands up and finds a way to beat the other person back. She hates being trampled underfoot. This is also why she quit the Cheerios.
So, again, on the note of her sexuality: it’s something she identifies as something that will make others treat her differently. She wants to be powerful and in control, which I’ll go into further as it ties into S1 and everything to do with Puck, even in S2, she doesn’t want to feel alienated from the people around her, and she’s obsessed with her image. And then she has, as her evidence for how people treat sexuality: people treating Kurt like trash, people calling him a “fag,” and oh yeah, the part where he received a death threat. This is basically the makings for her being unsettled by it.
It makes sense that she wouldn’t want to come out. McKinley might be used to Kurt, but he’s still a spectacle. As shown in “Original Song,” the judges basically picked McKinley, or I thought it was a factor in some of their decision, because they were … less gay. It’s the Midwest, and it’s not always widely accepted.
The Boy is Mine … etc. and How Glee Club is Important
Right, so Glee isn’t known for the most consistent writing, so this is where I explain stuff the show won’t ever explain and how it fits into my “Santana identifies as a lesbian and here is why.” Obviously, she identifies as a lesbian, but! It’s not always immediately obvious. Now, I will say I watched Glee in a bit of an untraditional order—I saw the pilot, and then “Theatricality,” and then “Britney/Brittany” and then “Duets.” I saw parts of the Christmas episode that I can’t remember the name of because who cares and then “Sexy.” So, my viewing of Glee is … skewed. I saw a lot of the defining Brittana moments and then went back to the very beginning and sped through the entirety of season one in twenty-four hours, and as a result, I was effectively watching for Santana and looking at everything under a certain scope. I wanted proof that she was gay, and I found it! … And not just in the handholding and “if sex was dating, we’d be dating” scene.
My headcanon for Santana is that since she can’t control things through the methods that Quinn employs—being pretty, smart, pure, and having people fall all over that—she asserts herself as a badass. I do believe there is something racially charged in this, because she does mention her lineage on a number of occasions (mostly in S2, but I digress). I think she uses it to make herself seem like more of a badass than she is, because I think she needs people to be afraid of her. In a lot of ways, Santana is incredibly lonely, as I’ve said, and hates feeling out of control. By putting forth fear, she gets people to follow her, deal with her, and so forth. Thus, Santana identifies with the stereotype of “badass Latina,” while she doesn’t necessarily fit it. I’ve seen people make arguments that it’s racist, and it … pretty much is, but Santana herself consciously utilizes it, or god, I really hope that’s what they’re trying to make her do. It sucks that she can, yeah, but there you go.
But we know that Santana’s dad is a doctor, that she has some kind of thing for Che Guevara, and that she will look into someone’s credit scores. These are all things that put her in a position of potentially being … both intelligent and somewhat loftier than otherwise may seem (but, I note, still kind of a dumb teenager; she may know who Samson is but she doesn’t know who James Earl Jones is … oh, Santana). She is clever, as shown by her various schemes, and I believe she’d be a lot better off if she didn’t employ so much of her effort in her schemes.
Still, it’s an image: a stereotype, in some ways, and others, she just wants to seem like a badass. A badass girl who has sex with whoever she wants, but with Puck, she does it so she can be in control. I think Puck is a huge image and symbol for her. Her possessiveness is, in my opinion, directly linked to what amount of status he gives her. She calls him a whiner, and when he starts regaining status again, she wants him back; there is no way around that. I think Puck is a consistent issue for her because she sees him as her counterpart, but I think it’s significant to note that their only scenes with one another involve her trying to get him to buy her a necklace, that dinner where she fawns all over him for lying about being a badass in juvie, and the part where she calls him a whiner. None of these are huge indications of a lot of emotional investment. On the contrary, what we see is her using him, controlling him, and basically liking him for what image he represents, rather than what or who he actually is.
Puck is a huge part of Santana because Santana makes him that. But in the end, it wasn’t difficult for her to shift focuses, and neither Puck nor Santana have really looked back. And honestly, they’re teenagers; teenagers fool themselves into believing a lot of things.
Both Puck and Finn are recurring characters for Santana. Puck continues into S2 and she’s enraged when he sings a song for Lauren, and then she moves from her Puck thing to screwing with Finn, Quinn, and Sam, being with Sam but not liking it, and eventually realizing that her thing with Brittany, which has presumably been going on behind the scenes all along, is how she actually feels.
The Finn thing is easier to explain, and actually where my journal name comes from. We know she uses Finn to become cheerleading captain, because that is a placement of status. It doesn’t go anywhere, but it’s a card to play for later (and boy, does she play it). When she has sex with Finn, the aftermath is that she’s bored, detached, and she seems to say that sex doesn’t really give her anything either—and wonders how he feels only after she expresses that she wants a burger. She emits more emotion in wanting the burger than the act she just had with him, or even feeling like she cares about him, and he’s merely an afterthought. It isn’t that she dislikes Finn here; I’d say this is actually a scene where Santana shows softness. It’s just … apathy, detachment, it means nothing to her because sex, with boys (which I am tacking on but I’m assuming in the context of my argument), means nothing to her.
We know from both S1 and S2 that Santana doesn’t identify Finn as hot, but we do know that when her status is threatened in S2—she loses captain to Quinn again and due to her boob job, which she got because she feels insecure about herself—she decides to play that card. By then, it is her belief that Finn needs it just as bad. In “Furt,” we see her trying to use it and at the wedding multiple times, the camera shows her face: she’s sad, lonely, walking that lonely teenage road of life, and she doesn’t have anything going for her. Life pretty much sucks, and it’s during this time that Brittany and Artie are … well, you know how it goes. Things aren’t going her way.
Everything from finally playing that card on seems to prove Santana’s need to assert control because she’s quickly losing it, and it’s lost by time “Silly Love Songs” comes along. She doesn’t have any spot on the squad, she’s with New Directions only, and while it’s what makes her happiest, she’s still angry, full of vitriol, and so forth.
Honestly, to me, it ties in together fairly well, if chosen to be taken that way. In a lot of ways, Santana has been forced to slowly identify herself and address her flaws, shortcomings, issues, and become self-aware, and she’s still kind of dumb when it comes to herself. She manipulates and lies to get things to go her way, but it’s been that way all along. Beginning of season one Santana isn’t the same person she is now, because Santana slowly came to love the Glee Club and what it meant to her—freedom from labels, status, and trying to have any kind of power—and eventually defected to it in the end. Her evolution comes directly in relation to New Directions, and honestly, everyone in the Club, even Rachel Hobbit Berry, is incredibly important to her. (Though Rachel is the one who accepted her “I love Glee Club” statement in “Sectionals” when no one else would … just a thought.)
In Glee Club, she finds a release from status, but not entirely. Santana hasn’t gone all the way with that yet, but … I believe she’s getting there. Her shift from needing to be the badass girl to someone who is dealing with her sexuality is one that gradually grows, as she comes to face herself in the mirror. I think it’s important that she does that.
Physicality
Briefly, I think despite her identification, Santana has only been sexually active with a large handful of guys … and Brittany. As well as her thoughts on shrubbery and a mannequin. (I think these were more things she identified as being able to … use to get off. Because, you know, it happens.) I don’t think she’s explored her sexuality as it comes to dudes, but she is shown to be sexually knowledgeable when it comes to Brittany. They have explored the acts, so there’s that. Her interest in guys was … I think, largely, due to being with them giving her some validation (which I’m not covering so much in this essay, but I insist, again, that Santana’s self-esteem is incredibly low and she’s incredibly lonely, whether she purposely alienates herself from others or not). The sexual acts were probably good, or even great, but largely empty; her scenes with Sam indicate as much, because she seems to put it forth in a very … this is how it’ll go, it’ll be a benefit for you, as it’ll be a benefit for me.
I don’t have much else to say here except that I think Santana is pretty sexually competent and I get the feeling that she actually looks into ways to make it more enjoyable for herself. She’s experienced, though probably still overdoing it a bit.
Brittany
I didn’t write this essay as directly relating to Brittany because I think many of the clues regarding Santana’s sexuality are actually independent of Brittany, and it’s just that she’s in love with Brittany that makes her further address her sexuality, but Brittany isn’t the reason she quits the squad, becomes closer to the Club, identifies with Kurt, or anything like that. That isn’t to say that Brittany isn’t important, but her sexuality storyline includes Brittany and Brittany is a large part of it, but as shown in “Rumours,” she could’ve easily ended up with Brittany, but she couldn’t deal with the last part of her image being lost.
Santana is in love with Brittany. I don’t know if she totally respects her, but I don’t know if Santana is as self-aware about the relationship. She is possessive as all hell over Brittany (though she is in general with her “romantic” entanglements). Brittany says that Artie is the only one in the school who hasn’t called her stupid, and … I believe that’s true. He treats her like she’s stupid, simple, and in a number of different misogynistic ways, and uses her to validate him, but he never called her stupid. I’m not sure if Santana has outright, but yeah. Santana does love her, though, and is more honest with her than she is with anyone else. She’s capable of empathizing, but it’s hard for her to … open up as she’s doing it. (Which isn’t to say she doesn’t. I think she’s getting there.)
But the thing is, Brittany is pushing her, and doing it in that annoying Glee way of … forcing her out in the most uncomfortable way possible. Which sucks for Santana, but it’s also good that Brittany is doing it. Sure, Brittany could do it differently, but this is Brittany; she’s being as intelligent as she’s capable of. She’s understanding and realizing that part of why Santana is afraid to do it is because she is afraid of dealing with that part of herself, afraid of putting it on the line and owning up to it, because of how much it could mean to her. Santana doesn’t really like herself, and part of that, now, is the realization that she’s gay. That’s really not something she’s capable of dealing with outwardly, even if she’s privately handling it. She can identify to herself, but it’s a whole different ballgame when it involves other people. And Brittany tried in “Rumours” to make her feel like she’s not alone, but she still couldn’t handle it.
I think her attachment to Brittany is partly a safe thing for her. There isn’t anyone else, Brittany has been (I assume) her best friend all her life, and she’s the person she feels most intimate with. She’s the person she has the most in stake in to keep close. She does love Brittany and usually, Brittany just accepts her, but now Brittany realizes how much self-sabotage Santana is doing, and is trying to help. And some ways, she’s doing a good job; in other ways, she isn’t.
I go back and forth on the pairing of Brittana. I do want Santana to get what she wants because I’m biased toward her, but I’m not sure Brittany is good for her. Or that she’s good for Brittany. I think Brittany is sometimes really childish to uncomfortable degrees, while Santana is actually fairly intelligent and … while not always mature, far more mature in her handling of herself than Brittany will ever be.
So, I don’t know. I’m undecided.
AND FINALLY, HEADCANON AND CAMP
- FOR THE SAKE OF MY SANITY, I am assuming that none of her romantic involvements with guys involved any genuine feelings or affection. This is safe in both Finn and Sam, but largely a matter of interpretation with Puck. (Though I genuinely would like proof outside of possessiveness and control with Puck. Possessiveness/jealousy isn’t actual love and adoration like he’s more than something cute because he’s a badass. We know how Santana is with someone she loves because of how she is with Brittany.)
- She does find other girls attractive because she identifies as a lesbian. If it was just Brittany, it would be Brittany as her exception; I fully believe Santana would do that, and there are several large hints to her looking into it and trying to define what it means to be gay.
- In camp, she is both uneasy about being gay but also … god, really relieved to be in a place where people are like “why do you hate yourself for being gay because it’s pretty kosher here.” She’s somewhat more open about it, but has mostly been forced to address it while canon hasn’t put her into that position at all. We do know she freaks the fuck out when it’s handled in canon, in front of everyone, and everyone is left to side-eye at it, and if I’m taking Artie’s reaction as an indication, a sign that no one really is buying her continued closeted act. In camp, it’s … moot, and she needs control, and she’s feeling her way out and realizing that her way of control in camp is different than it is in canon. (Meaning, she still has none.)
- Camp is mostly uncomfortable due to the lack of societal structures and status that it supplies. She’s a control freak and needs to feel comfortable and okay with herself, and she can create things by which she feels that way at McKinley. Not so much in camp. This is a good thing because she … is actually forced past her point of gradual departure that I pointed out above and into just being herself. Santana just hasn’t figured that out yet.
And finally, listen to this because it's pretty.
... Questions ... and comments are welcome.
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Santana: I made out with a mannequin. I even had a sex dream about a shrub that was in the shape of a person.
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IT'S LIKE. MAYBE NOT THE WORLD'S BIGGEST BONERKILL, BUT THEY'RE UP THERE.
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The blank, soulless stares.
you can feel it even when you close your eyes
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But I JUST HAD TO COMMENT TO SAY... That I re-watched that episode at some point where the Brittany mannequin got shot out of the cannon and now I side-eye Santana's mannequin comment in Sexy SO HARD asfdghjk;l
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